Miserable at Best
by flystyle23.go.dolphins
Summary: oneshot songfic to Miserable at Best by Mayday Parade. Booth's thoughts if Brennan had fallen in love with Jared in Con Man in the Meth Lab. Warning: sad B/B


**A/N: this is pretty sad. i just discovered this song and i thought it would fit this. it's kinda sad. i promise to update Trapped In My Tower soon, but this is just a sad fic to occupy you guys!**

**Katie, don't cry, I know  
****You're trying your hardest  
****And the hardest part is letting go  
****Of the nights we shared  
****Ocala is calling and you know it's haunting  
****But compared to your eyes, nothing shines quite as bright  
****And when we look to the sky, it's not mine, but I want it so**

A single tear rolled down his cheek, but he pushed it away. She was happy. She should be. That's all that mattered. She needed this. She needed it.

**Let's not pretend like you're alone tonight  
****(I know he's there)  
****You're probably hanging out and making eyes  
****(while across the room, he stares)  
****I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor  
****And ask my girl to dance, and she'll say yes**

She met him three days ago. They were already happy, perfect, it was meant to be. But still, he couldn't help but wonder what he did wrong. Why couldn't it be him with her? What was wrong with him? Her father encouraged it; but it was her choice, and she had made it.

**Because these words were never easier for me to say  
****Or her to second guess  
****But I guess  
****That I can live without you but  
****Without you I'll be miserable at best**

He wanted her, he loved her, he deserved her. And yet she was not his. He would go on, he could live, but it would crush him. The tears rolled faster, and he buried his head into his pillow. Crushing sobs wracked his body as he lay there. He felt like she had ripped his soul out and stomped on it. Her voice even echoed in his head, _It would be impossible to rip out someone's soul because a soul is really just- _but he silenced the soft melody. It was too much.

**You're all that I hoped I'd find  
****In every single way  
****And everything I could give  
****Is everything you couldn't take  
****Cause nothing feels like home, you're a thousand miles away  
****And the hardest part of living  
****Is just taking breaths to stay**

He had to accept her choice. He had to allow her to choose what she wanted. Because it was her choice. Not his. She didn't want him.

**Because I know I'm good for something  
****I just haven't found it yet  
****But I need it**

He was a horrible person. She thought he was a loser. His brother once again outshined him, and she chose the logical solution and chose the more successful brother.

**So let's not pretend like you're alone tonight  
****(I know he's there)  
****You're probably hanging out and making eyes  
****(while across the room, he stares)  
****I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor  
****And ask my girl to dance, and she'll say yes**

And the party. He took her to the party. Why did it have to be his brother? God was torturing him. It wouldn't be as bad if it was someone else. But his brother.

He closed his eyes as a new wave of sobs overcame him. He couldn't stand it. She was gone. He thought for sure that he'd get her one day; one day they'd admit their love for each other. But it wouldn't happen now.

**Because these words were never easier for me to say  
****Or her to second guess  
****But I guess  
****That I can live without you but  
****Without you I'll be miserable at best**

**Ladada ladada ladadaoh ohhh **

**And this will be the first time in a week  
****That I'll talk to you  
****And I can't speak  
****It's been three whole days since I've had sleep  
****Because I dream of his lips on your cheek  
****And I got the point that I should leave you alone  
****But we both know that I'm not that strong  
****And I miss the lips that made me fly**

_She doesn't want me. She wants him._ He couldn't sleep, he couldn't eat, he couldn't live without her. He never even got the chance to tell her how he loves her. And the kiss at Christmas – he felt like he was soaring, he never wanted it to end, but now the kiss was but a dream – no, a dream of a dream.

**So let's not pretend like you're alone tonight  
****(I know he's there)  
****You're probably hanging out and making eyes  
****(while across the room, he stares)  
****I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor  
****And ask my girl to dance, and she'll say yes**

He couldn't win now. This was the end. That was it. Tomorrow would be a new day, but nothing would be erased. He couldn't stand it, he couldn't go on, but he had to. For his son, if no one else. He would do it. He would keep living. He would keep loving her. But the truth of the matter was that she was gone, and he was left alone, waiting for someone that would never come.

**Because these words were never easier for me to say  
****Or her to second guess  
****But I guess  
****That I can live without you but  
****Without you I'll be miserable  
****And I can live without you  
****But without you I'll be miserable  
****And I can live without you  
****Oh, without you I'll be miserable at best**


End file.
